Introduction
In a recent episode of our podcast, I had the pleasure of engaging in a profound conversation with Hilary Neville, a night nurse with over 25 years of experience in the community. We delved into her experiences working with palliative care patients and being present during end-of-life moments. This blog post aims to share the insights and lessons from our conversation.
The Role of a Night Nurse
One of the first questions I asked Hilary was what it's like to be with people who have died. It's a question many hesitate to ask, possibly out of concern for their own family members. Hilary expressed her gratitude for being able to be present during such significant moments in people's lives. She recalled her first night as a night nurse, where she arrived at an elderly man's home and confirmed that his wife had passed away. This experience highlighted the gap between the daytime community nurses and the night nurses, and the crucial role they play in providing comfort and reassurance during these difficult times.
Life Beyond Nursing
Hilary also shared her experiences working in a foreign country where she and her husband enjoyed a tax-free income and provided accommodation. Despite the fun and party atmosphere of the place, she acknowledged that it lacked a sense of reality and that people could reinvent themselves there. However, she always knew they would eventually come back home, which they did when she was expecting their first baby.
Balancing Motherhood and Nursing
As a mother of five, Hilary explained that working night shifts allowed her to be more present for her kids during the day. She also expressed her support for her children's decision to explore the world, believing it broadens their horizons.
The Emotional Toll of Palliative Care
When asked about the emotional toll of working with patients nearing the end of their lives, Hilary shared that she has never been afraid of death. She emphasized the importance of having support and outlets to offload the emotional burden of her work. She mentioned how she used to have a friend to talk to after the school run, and now she has a group of friends who connect through WhatsApp. They provide each other with support and understanding, which helps them cope with the challenges of their profession.
The Challenges and Rewards of Palliative Care
Hilary also discussed the challenges of being a nurse in palliative care. She sometimes feels like a politician because she has to navigate different expectations and understandings from different people. However, she also gets to hear the patients' life stories and experiences, which she believes are worth telling.
Words of Wisdom
When asked about words of wisdom, Hilary recalled advice she received as a first-time mother: to listen to the midwife and be open to guidance. She applies this principle to her work in palliative care, always asking patients and their families about their expectations and understanding of the situation before providing guidance or sharing her own thoughts.
Memorable Experiences
Hilary shared several memorable experiences, such as caring for an elderly lady for an extended period during the start of the COVID-19 pandemic and being present when a 101-year-old patient passed away, surrounded by her family.
Tokens of Remembrance
Hilary carries two significant items with her as reminders of her patients. The first is a set of three coins given to her by a patient she had formed a special bond with. The second item is a pin of a little hare, given to her by the mother of a baby she nursed during the COVID-19 pandemic. These tokens serve as a constant reminder of the profound impact her work has on the lives of her patients and their families.
Conclusion
Our conversation with Hilary Neville provided a deep insight into the life and work of a night nurse in palliative care. It highlighted the emotional toll, the challenges, and the rewards of this profession. It also underscored the importance of support, understanding, and open communication in providing the best possible care for patients and their families.